The Spy Who Loved Me
by IrishButSober
Summary: When Jesse St James realises he's severely underestimated Kurt Hummel, he becomes just a little too keen to make Kurt Hummel forget about his crush on Finn and realise his place is by Jesse's side as their new member of Vocal Adrenaline. KurtxJesse
1. Eyes On A New Prize

I've always felt there wasn't enough JessexKurt going around, so I decided to give it my own try. Please be gentle, this is my first Fanfiction, but let me know if you enjoyed reading and I'll continue.

**~ Enjoy x x x**

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Here's the thing, Jesse St James doesn't _do_ speechless.

He can respect someone's talent, perhaps even give them a smile or a pleasant nod to reassure whoever was performing at that moment that the incredibly talented and near perfect Jesse St James approved of their efforts. But not once had the star of Vocal Adrenaline lost the ability of speech through another's performance, not even Shelby Corcoran had achieved that honour; let alone the mediocre talent, in Jesse's eyes anyway, that seemed to fill the rather cramped space of the New Directions rehearsal room.

Yet there he was with his mouth hung open with a look that was borderline moronic, a look that Hudson already seemed to master naturally, as his brown eyes lingered on soft lips and pale, freckled skin, skin that Jesse, right there and then, decided was the same colour as the angels. Kurt Hummel had never really crossed the baritone's mind with any real significance until this point, having heard from Rachel that he was the 'sarcastic one' who spent his time making comments about Rachel and her sheer dire need for a makeover in both fashion and in personality. Plus, it seemed New Directions coach Schuester was determined for no glee club member, except Rachel and that ogre of a boy, to get any type of solo or significant part, so Jesse had simply placed the boy under the category of "all bark and no talent" and had moved on. Clearly from just the thirty seconds in which he had been singing, Jesse had made a miscalculation – a major miscalculation.

Jesse liked to think he had people figured out, that he could predict their actions to such a degree that he was always ahead of the game, after all, he was a spy, his job was to make sure he knew everything he needed to and nobody knew enough about him. But even this way of thinking was disrupted by Kurt Hummel, who chose 'Tears in Heaven' by Eric Clapton for his choice of song, no show tunes, no overly dramatic hand gestures or over powering notes that were simply too big for such a room; the song was simple in comparison to the boy's usual choice and that's was driving Jesse crazy. The song was simple; it was a sad, romantic song that should have gotten nothing more than a smile at best from the overly confident senior. But instead, Kurt's soft, almost pure voice ringing through the room had Jesse shifting in his seat and his eyelids fluttering as he tried to ignore the tight feeling in his stomach and the numb feeling in his legs as his ears surrendered to the beauty that was Kurt's voice.

Jesse was barely able to register the last note that escaped the soprano's lips, too caught up in his sheer amazement and rather dazed state to notice Kurt's casual flick of his hair and small bow he gave. It was only through the other members clapping and the few cheers Kurt was able to snag, that Jesse returned to the world of the living and silently clapped along, managing to restrain himself from clapping a little too hard or getting on his feet and demanding an encore. Kurt's eyes seemed to briefly linger over every club member, offering them the same casual, proud smirk he always did, until the soprano's eyes landed on a particular person and that smirk turned into an almost childlike, excitable smile. Jesse's eyes followed that of Kurt's, attempting to find which member had broken the boy's facade and when he finally locked onto the individual, Jesse felt his stomach drop rather suddenly and his knuckles turned white as he tightened his hand into a fist. _Finn Hudson_. Jesse could practically feel the desire to punch the goofy faced buffoon overwhelming his mind and if he hadn't been so used to hiding real feelings and putting on a 'show face', he would have perhaps done exactly that. Seriously, Hudson was the one making Kurt's face as red as a tomatoes as he hurried back to his seat in a rather giddy fashion? Jesse had disliked the boy when he had been trying to seduce Rachel, since his prior romance with her was going to make his job all that more difficult, but seeing the way he had been able to make Kurt look so vulnerable without even trying made him simply _hate_ the other boy.

"Awesome job Kurt, remember guys, sometimes simplicity works the best, now who's up next?"

Jesse didn't even have to look around, knowing Rachel hand would be up before Schuester could even finish his sentence and so he slipped his hand from her shoulder, where it had been casually resting for the past twenty minutes or so. Practically sprinting to the front of the room, Jesse found his mind drifting away from Rachel's ramblings as she tried to explain her song choice and why it was, without question, the perfect song for the assignment they had been set. Glancing around, Jesse could see that few of the members were showing any real interest in what Rachel was saying, in fact, Finn seemed to be the only one who cared she was even talking, though Jesse guessed he didn't have any clue what she was even talking about. Still, Jesse was meant to be her supposed boyfriend, which meant he had to at least try and play the part and while that would normally be easy for the triple threat senior, Kurt's voice was still ringing in his ears and that soft face was continuing to cloud his mind, as well as the bitterness he felt in his mouth at the look Kurt had given Hudson, a look that ape of a boy did not deserve to receive in Jesse's opinion.

Another thing Jesse St James didn't do – jealousy.

Why on earth would someone like him need to get jealous? He was the star of the most respected and feared show choir in all of Ohio, his social status was one of the best, he already had a full ride to the University of California: Los Angeles, he got practically every girl he tried to get and, without inflating his ego too much, he knew he was a good looking guy who would inevitably be the star on Broadway that he was destined to be. So how had that small, almost insignificant interaction between Kurt and Finn got Jesse so worked up that even he and his incredible acting abilities couldn't hide the sheer look of dislike and disgust he shot Hudson? Jesse, for once, had no response to his own question and could only divert his gaze from the two other boys and tried to focus on Rachel's song choice; Taking Chances by Celine Dion, how very predictable.

Losing interest fast, Jesse found his eyes sliding over to Kurt Hummel's seat once again, which was naturally located next to Mercedes Jones, the other major diva within the group. Neither one appeared to be particularly interested in Rachel's song choice or her performance, but while Mercedes was busy flipping through her phone and grinning at a few texts, Kurt's eyes were busy lingering on that damn quarterback, a look of longing and affection in those usually cold and collected blue eyes of his. Jesse couldn't help but scowl once more, but unlike last time where Hudson had been clueless to the sour look on his face, Kurt caught it rather quickly and responded with the loss of that soft expression and raising of his eyebrow, as if daring Jesse to try and make a comment about his disapproval of what he had just seen.

That was what _really_ bugged Jesse St James.

The fact that Finn Hudson of all people got those lovey dovey eyes from the fashionable soprano and all Jesse got was a raised eyebrow and some attitude, as if he was just any other guy and of no interest to the potential star. Turning back in his seat, he did his best to hide the scowl on his face and shot Rachel a pleasant smile during her performance, earning him a large grin in response and an excitable quiver erupting from her voice as she carried on. How Jesse would long for Kurt to act the same as her whenever he smiled at him, god knows how he would react from just a single kiss...

'_Damn it, pull yourself together St James! You are here for a reason, stick to the plan and you'll be fine...'_

Ah yes, his coach Shelby Corcoran's master plan, one that had taken even Jesse St James by surprise. As his eyes lingered back to Rachel, Jesse could see the similarities in a heartbeat, but still, that didn't take away from the shock to know that Shelby had a daughter and it was Rachel Berry of all people. Nevertheless, Jesse was a little relieved that the reason for his spying hadn't been to destroy New Directions from the inside. As much as he didn't like Rachel in that kind of way, he had grown fond of her and didn't want to see her hurt, especially when the very tender issue of her mother was on the line. That was what he was here for, to make sure Rachel and Shelby could form a relationship rather than wait another two years just to get passed that damn contract she had signed with Rachel's dads. Besides, he'd only be here another week or so before he would head back to Vocal Adrenaline and all this would be behind him, so what point was there in even trying to get close to Hummel?

But as they say, when inspiration strikes, you take it – and suddenly, Jesse St James had an idea that was both brilliant and truly cruel that even the senior questioned its moral reasoning, but only for a second. Kurt wanted to be as big of a star as Rachel, did he not? Perhaps then he may be susceptible to leaving his small town Glee club and come along and join the big boys, where he belonged. Still, Jesse had felt bad originally at the idea of sabotaging New Directions before they even got a chance to perform, so how could he justify it now? However, such reasoning seemed to fly out the window as his brown eyes caught sight of Kurt bashfully glancing at Hudson, before quickly looking down at his feet, as if he was some kind of shy, ashamed school girl.

Now Jesse St James may not do speechless and he may not do jealousy, but he _did_ do competition.

Come two weeks, Kurt Hummel would be his and they would both be claiming Regionals for Jesse's third and consecutive win and there was not a damn thing anyone, especially Hudson, could do to stop that from happening.


	2. Pushing Too Hard

**Sorry, the last chapter I uploaded wasn't the final version. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has been supporting this fanfiction and sending such positive reviews for my first fanfiction, means a lot to me. Anyway, enjoy this St. Hummel fanfiction in all it's drama and glory!**

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"How long is it going to take to get a simple answer from you?"

That was the question Jesse proposed as he leaned against the locker beside that of Kurt Hummel's, an amused smile upon his face as he watched the soprano's attempts to pretend that the senior was nothing but an annoying, cold breeze that had drifted too close for the boy's comfort. Perhaps Kurt hadn't realised, but Jesse was well trained in the art of patience, he wasn't like most boys Kurt had dealt with before, he wasn't a short tempered jock like Puck or completely clueless like Hudson, who probably needed reminding to chew and swallow his food so it didn't dribble down his face. Yes, Jesse St James still hated Finn Hudson - very much so.

"That entirely depends on how long you propose to keep up the facade of being here for Rachel."

Well, it was at least better than being blanked again, plus Jesse had come to enjoy the little snippy comments Kurt came up with, especially when he rose his eyebrow in that way or stuck his little nose in the air like he was doing so now.

"That hardly seems fair now does it? I've shown no ulterior motive to joining New Directions, I've not even stolen _that_ many solos from your dear Hudson, plus I've shown you no real reason to be suspected of any kind of foul play."

"Well, you wouldn't be much of a spy if you went around babbling all your secrets and looking incriminating, now would you? You may be good at it, but a spy is still a spy."

Jesse had to frown at that comment, not expecting the smaller boy to be so focused on the concept that the 'former' Vocal Adrenaline star wasn't being completely honest with them; he was certain he had fooled them all to some degree at least. Yet again, Jesse had underestimated Kurt Hummel and was paying the price with this dilemma. Still, this was hardly an irreversible situation and Jesse decided to try a different approach; the truth...well, some of it at least.

"You're right; I'm not here for Rachel."

Jesse held back a smirk at the look on the boy's face, who seemed both surprised and pleased with the idea that he'd been finally able to get the senior to come clean with his crimes. However, Jesse didn't give Kurt the chance to form any kind of triumphant or smug response, as he reached out with his free hand and cupped Kurt's jaw, his thumb stroking the soft, white skin slowly. Brown eyes focused on the sight of his digit tracing against the delicate, smooth skin and only expanded his gaze when he heard a soft quiver escaping Kurt's throat and began to soak up the image of the soprano looking just as vulnerable as he did whenever he was gazing over at Hudson like a lost puppy. Inevitably, Kurt got over his shock and enjoyment of another boy's hand against his skin and slapped the hand away; practically fuming at the senior who couldn't help but chuckle, the boy was even more adorable when he was like this.

"What in the name of everything good and Cher related do you think you're doing St James!"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I already told you that you were correct, I'm not here for Rachel, but don't assume that automatically means I'm here for ill reasons either. I'm here for someone much more...valuable to me."

The senior was pleased to see that had at least softened some of the sheer fury on the boy's face, replacing it with looks of both concern and confusion and while Jesse would have preferred them to have been looks of affection and desire, they were most definitely not the worst expressions Kurt Hummel could have given to Jesse's 'honest' words. Taking this falter in the boy's hissy fit as an opportunity, Jesse let his fingers begin to slowly trickle their way down the pale neck of the soprano and this time, Kurt didn't knock his hand away or demand an explanation while throwing in a gay icon reference into the mix. Instead, the miva seemed to flinch slightly at the contact, but it didn't take long for his face to relax and, soon enough began to enjoy the feeling of another boy touching him in such a way, regardless of who this boy actually was and just how much Kurt distrusted him. Finally, Jesse ceased with his teasing and very nearly broke out into a laugh at the disappointed look that crossed Kurt's face for a second, before it was replaced with a more hostile one as the boy folded his arms over his chest, as if acting like his eye lids hadn't been fluttering only moments ago at the other boy's touch.

"Look, I don't know what game you think you're playing here but if you even _try_ to seduce me to simply get some kind of information out of me for your group of over-worked show choir radicals, I _will_ unleash Mercedes on you and she will make short work of that smug look of yours St James."

"You certainly are keen to point the finger at me aren't you? First I'm simply spying, next I'm trying to seduce you to try and get information from you; what kind of person do you take me for? You shouldn't perhaps overlook the idea that I may be trying to seduce you for the simple reason that I want to."

Jesse kept his words relaxed and smooth as usual, his arm still leaning on locker like it had been throughout this entire exchange, his own eyebrow raised and the smallest of smirks growing on the edges of his lips. Unsurprisingly, Kurt didn't look too pleased with his response and either didn't want to believe it or didn't seem to care that much and Jesse could only hope it was the former option of the two.

"As romantic as you make that sound, might I remind you that you are supposedly dating Rachel? Did you forget that small detail through all that beautiful poetry you just recited to try and woo me?"

Jesse's small smirk grew a little wider at Kurt's dry response, knowing very well that 'little detail' would have eventually come up sooner or later and honestly, Jesse wasn't too sure how he was going to deal with Rachel's inevitable tantrum at their break-up, then again, Jesse was hoping that she would soon be distracted by the overgrown arms of one Finn Hudson to ease her through it all, which would likely upset the young soprano, which would finally give Jesse a fighting chance to get close to the boy. Ah yes, Jesse loved when a plan came together. Still, this meant he would have to work rather quickly once Finn and Rachel were back into each other's arms, seeing as he wanted his little soprano to suffer as little as possible in the transition. That was probably the reason why Jesse hated Finn as much as he did; the ogre of a boy seemed rather content in leading Kurt on and took no responsibility for the damage it was doing to the boy's heart to see Hudson bounce from girl to girl, only to complain about them later to Kurt. In Jesse's eyes, it didn't matter if Finn was clueless to the boy's glances and shy sighs; the fact that Kurt was getting hurt in the process was enough to get the senior's blood boiling. It took Jesse a moment to repress the anger that was now bubbling away in his stomach before he could actually respond, just what had this boy done too him? Jesse St James was always calm, collected and in control of any situation, so why should this be any different?

"Have you already forgotten what I said? I'm not here for Rachel and if dumping her is all that it's going to take to get to you, then I'll end things with her today, right now. What do you say to that? Hmm?"

Kurt seemed to falter at that comment, clearly not expecting the senior to actually consider breaking up with Rachel, since the soprano had always assumed his goal here was to woo her and then get her to switch sides, resulting in New Directions having to forfeit through default. But with what Jesse had just said, Kurt was no longer so confident in his analysis of Jesse's reasons for being here, in fact, if he was being honestly and really did break up with Rachel, then that pretty much proved Kurt's theory wrong and just like Jesse, Kurt didn't like being clueless in any situation, especially when dealing with someone like Jesse St James. Amused smile still gracing his lips, the older of the two decided not to tease or taunt Kurt about his stunned silence, knowing that, as much fun as it would be, to tease the soprano at this point would likely cause him to return to his diva like attitude and would mean Jesse would lose all the progress he had made in his attempts to get closer to the boy. Brown eyes continued to linger on pale blue ones, even when they refused to meet Jesse's, before Kurt's voice finally come through, though a lot softer than usual, along with a tremble running through his throat as spoke.

"It was for my mom..."

"I'm sorry?"

"That's what you were pestering me for so long wasn't it? Why I chose Tears in Heaven for my song choice...well, it was for my mom, happy now?"

Jesse was rather taken back by the response, so taken back in fact that he didn't even seem to mind as Kurt slipped past Jesse's grip and the older boy could only watch as the young diva took one last glance at the senior, before hurrying down the hall, looking both ashamed and more than a little bit angry with himself. Of all the reasons Jesse had come up with for possibilities to why Kurt had chosen such a song, he'd never once considered it being for a parent. Suddenly, for the first time in his stay in New Directions, guilt tugged away at him as he watched the retreating figure; if Kurt had chosen that kind of a song for his mother, it meant that she was more than likely no longer alive, which meant Jesse St James had just cornered the boy of his recent dreams and used some of his best tricks in the art of seduction, to admit to him that he sang a song for his dead mother. Closing his eyes slowly, Jesse felt his face scrunch up as he cringed at the realisation of what he had just done. Knocking his forehead against Kurt's locker, he remained there for a few moments, not even caring at the odd glances he received from the few passing figures, as he let it sink in just how badly he had screwed up.

'_Smooth Jesse, real smooth...''_


	3. Breaking Down, For You

**I want to thank everyone who has been so sweet and supportive of the fanfiction, I am enjoying the challenge of writing Jesse. Though WARNING, he does lose it a little bit in this chapter, I realise he's gone a little OCC, but that's mainly because we've never seen him really care for someone. Anyway! Hope you enjoy!**

**Remember! Read & Review!**

**IMPORTANT: THIS TAKES PLEASE IN "THEATRICALITY."  
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Jesse really should have been out of New Directions by now, he should be back in Carmel, enjoying the life of the star of Vocal Adrenaline, with girls and boys alike too in love with him to even come up to him and say a simple hello, with his gorgeous, Range Rover parked outside and his future career on Broadway all nicely set out for him and with nothing standing in his way.

Instead, he was currently listening to Rachel screaming at him, tears in her eyes and repeatedly telling him to go burn in hell, which Jesse personally thought was a little bit dramatic, even for her, not to mention uncreative.

So there he was, half listening to her sobs and ranting about how he was the scum of the earth and didn't deserve to even the right to breathe and Jesse realised how much he was regretting dumping her in person, texting was shallower but at least he could just switch off his phone and be done with it. Finally, he decided to interrupt her by raising his hand and she surprisingly complied, probably too emotional to even comprehend that he had politely told her to '_shut up' _as he took a moment to pause for dramatic effect, before speaking.

"I realise this is upsetting Rachel, but I'm not sure why you are so surprised. For the past week we have drifted apart and honestly, as focused as I am on being the star I truly deserve to be, I'm not sure even I'm as self-obsessed as you half the time. I'm happy to get along with you as a friend, perhaps even form sort of alliance that most straight woman and gay men seem to be obsessed with, but I'm by no means going to continue to date you, you're just not the girl I thought you were."

Alright, so that was a lie. She was _exactly_ the girl Jesse thought she'd be, just a more extreme version and quite frankly, Jesse wish he'd stuck to Shelby's plan on _'befriending'_ her rather than his interpretation, which had been translated to _'seduce'_ her. Damn his hormones.

"You said gay men...are you...Jesse are you trying to tell me you're..."

Ah, so she did pick up on that. Good, so she wasn't so lost in misery at losing such an incredibly talented boy as a boyfriend that she didn't even notice the rather obvious hint that Jesse had laid out for her. This might just work.

"I've never been fan of labels, while it's true I appreciate both male and females sexually, I find it takes certain individuals to truly capture my fancy in a more romantic sense."

That was Jesse's eloquent way of informing Rachel that he enjoyed screwing both boys and girls. Still, it did hold some merit, while several people were potential one night stand material in Jesse's eyes, there were very few who interested him on a much deeper level, Rachel's talent had attracted him at first and while he admired her determination and focus, she didn't have what he was looking for. Kurt on the other hand, was everything Jesse was looking for and more, he was strong willed, determined and proud of who he was, things Rachel possessed as well, but he was also a listener, he was patient and above all, Jesse could see a passion in Kurt's eyes that was just begging to be released, something the star of Vocal Adrenaline was going to make sure was going to happen, very soon.

He'd first seen it when Kurt had sung all those weeks back and had continued to see it throughout the weeks that followed. When Rachel sang, she sang about what she was feeling in that moment, it was all about how her immediate emotion and she shoved it down the audience's throat. When Kurt sang, he reflected on his life, he let himself open up to who he was and let the audience feel the emotion, perhaps even share it, feel it themselves as if they suddenly didn't feel so alone and could just lose themselves in those few minutes as the boy sang. Kurt was versatile; he could get up on stage and sing like he owned the world or he could treat the music as if it was a part of his own fragile soul, tender, soft and passionate. That was what made Kurt beautiful to Jesse, it wasn't just those ruby lips, those pale blue eyes or that pure, white snow like skin. It was the way Kurt loved everything about what music had to offer. It wasn't just about what he could do for music; it's what music could do for him and for others around him.

"Is there someone else?"

That question surprised Jesse and brought him out of his train of thought, his gaze finally meeting Rachel's, noticing the girl had wiped away her tears and was left with just red, puffy eyes and uneven breathing, god, just how long had Jesse been thinking about that boy? Pausing for a moment at the question, he decided to be honest with her for a moment; she deserved that much at least.

"Yes, there is. I'd appreciate it you didn't harass him Rachel, I still have yet to make him mine and until then, I'd rather not have someone bullying him into feeling one way or the other."

"Him? You...it's Kurt isn't?"

Jesse wasn't surprised she figured it out. Rachel was a _lot_ of things, but stupid wasn't one of them. After all, what other boy could it be? Finn was too obsessed with Rachel and even the boy's smile disgusted Jesse, Puck and Jesse had no common interests and honestly, the baritone star was more than a little put off by the boy's obsession with dim-witted cheerio's and it was hard to fall in love with either Mike or Matt, considering the two boys were playing the longest game of _'I can stay quieter longer that you'_ that Jesse had ever seen.

"Correct. Again, I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything to him. I'm taking my time, I don't want him feeling pushed into anything and I won't appreciate you trying to get him to hate me, I'd hope we could all be a little bit mature than that."

"I should have listened to them; I should have listened to Finn. They were right about you; you're nothing but a user, doing whatever you want to get your way. You never cared about me and I doubt you care about Kurt, all you're good for is screwing with other people's lives-"

"That's _enough_ Rachel."

Rachel was clearly shocked by the venom that dripped from Jesse's voice and as he watched her nervously take a step back and her eyes soften, Jesse had to admit he was surprised to. He rarely got angry, he was calm, collected and smug and everyone knew it. But somewhere between mentioning Finn and her deciding that he was dead inside, Jesse St. James lost it.

"While us dating for two months seems to have you so blindly believing that you know me. You _don't_ Rachel Berry. But why would you? All you ever did in our relationship is talk about yourself, so why would you even think you know anything about me? I'm not some dead, emotionless puppet who enjoys seeing people in pain, I won't deny I do believe that I am superior to most people in this school, but considering this place is mainly filled up with narrow minded jocks and clueless cheerleaders, that isn't say much to begin with. While I don't love you, I do respect your talents and want you to enjoy the life you will likely spend on Broadway and as for Kurt..."

Jesse took his time to pause there, tensing his lips and trying to gain some self-control, if not only for the fact that Rachel looked like she ready to run away in fright, then at least for his image and reputation of being someone who never let others get to him.

"You know what? Say what you want about me, call me heartless, arrogant, cruel, whatever words you see fit to use. But you don't you dare ever claim that I don't care about Kurt. I'm the only one in this cow town or probably this entire damn state who understands just how special he is or how he deserves to be treated, how he deserves to be loved and I'm not going to stop until I'm the one he falls for, _understand_?"

He didn't really care if she did at this point, so he diverted his gaze from her, forcing down the snarl that threatened to creep onto his face and stormed out of the room, letting the door slam behind him in a very un-Jesse like manner. This was getting too much for even the future Broadway star to handle.

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"You sure gave Rachel a mouthful to think about, didn't you?"

Jesse frowned as the voice snapped him out of his moody thoughts and his eyes slowly moved over to the owner of the voice, his eyes softening slightly into an almost surprised manner as Mercedes of all people walked over to him, slowly sitting on the auditorium stage edge next to him. He'd come here to sit and think alone and while Mercedes was probably one of the less painful options of people who could have come in here to chat with him, he still would have preferred the peace and quiet.

"Is what you said true? About Kurt? Be honest with me, I know how to smell a rat from a mile away and I need to know if you were just trying to hurt Rachel or if you actually mean it."

Jesse, for once, let his confusion show in his eyes, his frown still perched on his lips as it took a moment for it to all click into place. Mercedes was pretty much Kurt's life support, his best friend, his soul sister to put it bluntly and it wasn't that surprising that she would want to know if he had been telling the truth if she'd managed to overhear his little feud with Rachel.

See, if Jesse was his usual self, he would have seen this as the perfect chance to start fooling Mercedes with his charm and go on a five page rant about how Kurt was the sunshine to his 'walking on sunshine' album and how he couldn't live without him by his side. But in this state, he was tired, angry, frustrated and above all, missing the diva of a soprano, so he just nodded his head dumbly and closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I did Mercedes..."

The was a long, yet comfortable pause as Mercedes nodded her head silently before looking back at Jesse and offering him a slight smile before she leaned back and looked at the ceiling.

"Alright, here's the deal drama boy, I'm about to tell you something Kurt swore me to secrecy with and I'm only doing so because honestly, Kurt needs a knight in shining armour right now, a real one for once and though you're a lot to handle and put too much product in that hair of yours, you just might be what he needs."

Jesse felt his interest peaked, curiously raising an eyebrow at the girl as he leaned in slowly, and waited to hear what she had to offer...

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"Outside Hudson, right now."

It hadn't taken long for Jesse to track the other boy down; there were only a few places he'd be, either in the football locker room, the cafeteria or in the rehearsal room trying desperately to impress Rachel by murdering another 80's rock classic with his untrained voice. What really set Jesse off was seeing Kurt in the room with Finn and they seemed to be getting on fine, though Kurt's smile was a little weak and forced and while Jesse would have just raised an eyebrow at the uncomfortable smile and shrugged it off, he now knew exactly why Kurt was straining to smile at this boy.

"Have you gone deaf as well as being incredibly stupid? I said, outside Hudson. Right. Now."

Kurt and Finn both looked shocked at what Jesse was saying, Finn because he was still trying to work out why being deaf made him stupid and what Jesse could possibly want to show him outside and Kurt, on a slightly more observant level, was seeing the pure rage in Jesse's eyes, despite how calm and level his voice was, he'd never seen Jesse look like this before.

"Dude, I was just talking to Kurt about something important-"

"I realise that, but seeing as you aren't even worthy of kissing Kurt's feet, let alone talking to him, I suggest you meet me outside in the parking lot, right now."

Something in Finn's mind clicked and he frowned slowly, remembering Jesse had said an earlier statement a few months ago when he had first dated Rachel and confronted Finn.

"Look dude, as much as I like singing, I don't think I want to go all the way to the parking lot to do it..."

"You can sing if you want to Hudson, I could care less either way, but I'll be too busy ripping your face off with my bare hands to notice your poor cover of whatever rock artist you've decided to shame and diminish this week."


	4. Pounding And Grinding

**I just have to take a moment to thank everyone reading this story, seriously. You guys have been so supportive and it means a lot to me. So as a treat, this fanfiction has moved up a few ratings and will probably get a little smutty soon, but for now, enjoy this chapter! **

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It turns out they never made it to the parking lot in the end, so Jesse decided to let his fist go flying right then and there in the rehearsal room.

Now Jesse wasn't a born fighter, he had only gotten into a few fights in his life and they usually turned out pretty even. However, being part of Vocal Adrenaline meant you were taught precision, speed and efficiency. All three things came mighty handy as Jesse's fist connected with Finn's nose and a satisfying crunching sound soon followed as Finn hit the floor, hard. Jesse ignored the yells of Kurt as he grabbed Finn by the collar and pulled him up slightly, not giving the ogre anytime to recover before his fist was connecting against his jaw again and again and again.

Realising that screaming wasn't working and he couldn't seem to push the rampaging Jesse off of the struggling jock beneath him, Kurt did the next best thing and within a few moments, Mister Schuester was in the rehearsal room, managing to pry Jesse off of Finn, though not nearly as easily as Kurt had expected. The little spectacle had caught more than a few eyes and already a few of the Glee club members were hanging around by the door. Specifically Quinn, who looked more than a little concerned and held a protective hand over her showing stomach, clearly unnerved by the violent side of Jesse St James, as well as Mercedes who just looked down with guilt as she watched Finn struggling to get to his feet.

"What the hell do you think you are doing Jesse! We don't allow that kind of behaviour, especially in this club!"

"But you allow homophobia, is that it?"

Mister Schue's hard eyes turned a little softer, a look of confusion passing through his face at Jesse's bitter words, looking between Finn, who was currently holding his bleeding nose, and Jesse, who looked ready to finish the job he'd started. The wild flare in those usually cold and calm eyes was unnerving, even for the fully grown man. Meanwhile, Kurt just stood there, torn between the bewilderment at just how fast the situation had escalated and the realisation that the mad flare in Jesse's eyes, the frustration and pain in his voice and the star's desire to break Finn Hudson in two, were all because of him.

"What's the matter Hudson? Too ashamed to tell them what you said? You said it once, why so shy to say it now?"

"Jesse, that's enough. He didn't mean it-"

"**NO KURT!"**

Jesse's anger was now focused on the soprano and Kurt couldn't help but winced slightly, not so much at the tone but the look in Jesse's eyes, seeing the mixture of pain and anger as the older boy fought to take control of his emotions, something which he would usually found so easy.

"You do _**not**_ let people think that saying words like that is not a big deal, like it doesn't mean anything. Because pretty soon they start using it again and again and before you know it, they're children are saying it and nobody is stopping them and telling them that it's not fucking alright to call anyone something so cruel and twisted."

While nobody had actually repeated the word that Finn had uttered to Kurt only two days ago, it wasn't hard to figure out, even for Mister Schuester. Kurt had been avoiding Finn recently, no longer doting on the boy as if he was a god and the sheer hurt in Kurt's eyes as he was reminded of what his crush had called him didn't escape anyone's eyes, especially Jesse's. Pulling himself away from Mister Schuester's grip, which had loosened slightly when he realised just what his favourite student had called Kurt, he ignored the looks from the others as he stormed out. All eyes slowly fell to Kurt once the Carmel star had disappeared, except for Finn who was still nursing his bleeding nose and his bruised jaw and was too ashamed to even look Kurt in the eye, keeping his gaze loosely on the floor.

* * *

"Did you really think going Chuck Norris on my crush was the best way to win me over?"

Jesse would have smiled normally or even responded with a witty comment had it been any other day, but it was only an hour after the incident and quite frankly, Jesse was still imagining all the ways he could break Hudson's face open with his fists and any other tools that might be lying around at the time. Not even locking eyes with Kurt as he spoke, Jesse opened his locker door and grabbed a handful of textbooks, not even sure if they were correct ones for the rest of his classes; he just needed to keep his gaze from the other if he wanted to keep his emotions in check.

"I sincerely hope after what he said that he is nothing but yesterday's trash to you now and as for winning you over, that's not what that was about. That was simply me caring about you too much to let that asshole get away with what he called you. Whether you appreciated it or not is irrelevant."

Blunt, but honest, something Jesse hoped Kurt could at least appreciate because at this moment, he wasn't sure if he could give any other answer at this point without losing himself in the anger and frustration that still threatened to burst through him at any second. Still, Kurt didn't snap back and rather just watched him for a few moments, so the boy obviously wasn't too appalled by the answer.

"How did you find out?"

It wasn't a question he was surprised to hear and he didn't blame Kurt for asking it, still, Jesse wasn't sure if he wanted to drag Mercedes into this mess and cause any tension between her and Kurt, but at the same time, an honest answer was all really Jesse could muster at the moment. God damn it, how had he ended up like _this_? This _wasn't_ how he behaved. Ever.

"Mercedes told me."

That seemed to surprise Kurt, as Jesse let his eyes wonder to Kurt, he found some of the anger slipping away at the expression on the soprano's face and let a twitch of an amused smile grace his lips as Kurt huffed and folded his arms over his chest, his cheeks glowing red from embarrassment and frustration.

"I can't believe that girl! She's supposed to be on my side"

"She is, always. In fact that's why she's able to see something that you can't."

"And what would that be?"

"That I'm everything you are ever going to need in someone else and I won't stop until you're _mine._"

Again, the blunt and honest side of Jesse was taking over, though there was a flicker of passion in Jesse's brown eyes now, temporarily forgetting about the anger over Finn Hudson the moment he saw Kurt swallow nervously and a bright blush forming on the boy's pale cheeks at the baritone's comment. Closing his locker door slowly, Jesse decided he was tired of playing it as subtly as he had, he wanted Kurt to realise just what he could give him that nobody else could. So, with a quick motion, Jesse had Kurt pinned to the lockers, his hands on either side of the soprano's head and his lips firmly locked against those soft, ruby ones that had unknowingly teased him for far too long.

Kissing Kurt was a rather surreal experience for Jesse, those plump, timid lips trembling against his own was an incredible feeling, but it was nothing compared to the feeling Jesse got when Kurt relaxed into the kiss and began to slowly kiss back. Pressing his hips into the smaller body, Jesse deepened the contact, holding Kurt firmly against the locker as he continued the slow, strong kiss; an arm now firmly wrapped around Kurt's back, his fingers sneaking under the silk shirt to stroke the smooth skin, feeling the goosebumps riding up as he teased the soprano's delectable body.

Finally breaking the heated exchange, Jesse let his lips rest just a few inches away from Kurt's trembling ones, letting his hot breath sink into the smaller boy's skin, his hips still firmly against Kurt's and refusing to move, letting the boy get used to the feeling of his body pressing into the soprano's. Though, eventually, Jesse would pull his body away slightly to give Kurt some space, because honestly, if he didn't stop grinding into the soprano, Jesse was afraid he wouldn't be able to control the overwhelming desire to show Kurt Hummel just what Jesse St. James could do; and continue to do _all night long_.

Deciding to try and leave such thoughts behind, the key word in that sentence being _try_, Jesse let his eyes linger on Kurt's, feeling a smirk growing on his face as he watched the look that the smaller boy was giving him. A look of pure want and desire and a sense of vulnerability that Jesse hadn't seen Kurt give to anyone before, not even to that scumbag known as Finn Hudson. _Ha!_ Unable to feel pleased with the look the other boy was giving him, Jesse's fingers found their way to Kurt's neck and began to slowly run his thumb against the warm, smooth skin.

"So, forgotten about that Hudson yet?"

Jesse's words came out smug and full of the confidence that he was best known for, his thumb continuing to stroke his Kurt's neck, already imagining the different way's Kurt was going to tell him how incredible that kiss was and how he had been a fool to even think about Finn in such a way, rather than Jesse.

"Hm...I'm not sure so sure myself."

That little statement caused Jesse's smirk to disappear, a surprised and somewhat gobsmacked look replaced it as he stared at the smaller boy as if he was completely insane. He wasn't sure! After a kiss like _that!_ ...Was Jesse St. James losing his touch?

"I may need another taste, just to make sure."

Jesse paused for a second, seeing the mischievous smirk slipping across Kurt's face, his eyebrow raised, as if challenging the other boy. Oh so _his_ soprano wanted to play it like that did he? His smirk returning, Jesse found himself pushing his hips into Kurt's once more, with a little more force so the other boy was once again trapped under his body. Leaning forward, Jesse let his hot, heavy breath run down the boy's pale neck as he growled affectionately into his ear.

"Trust me, once I'm done with you, there will be only one name on your mind Hummel..."


	5. The Choices We Make

**I'm so sorry for the long delay, things have been pretty crazy and I wasn't sure if I was going to get this out anytime soon, but I managed to pull through and get this done, sorry if it isn't my best.**

**x x x**

**Thank you to everyone who takes the time to review, you guys have been so sweet to me, it means so much to me.**

* * *

"Do it, Jesse."

'Oh, God, how did they get to this point? Why did this have to happen? Why like this?'

"...Are you with us or not?"

Jesse looked up at the sight in front of him, and what he saw was enough to make him want to throw everything away. Fuck Regionals, fuck Vocal Adrenaline and fuck pretending it wasn't breaking him to see Kurt standing there, splattered with raw egg; his face crumpled up, looking ready to cry, his lip quivering as he desperately tried look strong- but even the soprano couldn't hide the hot tears running down his face as he looked at Jesse, who was still holding the last egg in his hand, un-thrown as the rest of his team stared at their vocal lead; judging him, waiting for him to sink to their level- if he was truly loyal to them, that is.

Things had happened so fast. Shelby had caught wind of Jesse's failed attempts at getting close to Rachel and was ready to give up on the whole thing, which had immediately caused Jesse to kick things into high gear, because he couldn't let all of Shelby's hopes and dreams be crushed because he'd gotten distracted. But he _had _gotten distracted, by a boy who he had really no intention of even getting to know on basic social levels. A boy who he didn't care about or know anything about, and yet, had somehow managed to capture his attention, had managed to distract Jesse St. James from his goals. Distracted him to the point where he barely cared about whether or not Rachel knew he was losing interest, to the point where he was dying to be able to kiss Kurt's wet, ruby lips in the show choir room for everyone to see, because _damn it_, he wanted people to know who was Kurt Hummel's man- to know just how easily he could make the boy quiver, how easily he could make him blush and just how easily he could make the boy drop all pretenses and smile that soft, genuine, beautiful smile of his that only Jesse had gotten a glimpse of.

But, he had to push all that aside, because Shelby was running out of time and he couldn't waste another moment. He found Rachel, he apologised. Hell, he practically grovelled for her to even talk to him- something which made him feel sick to his stomach, but he had to remind himself who he was doing this for. It was for Shelby, the woman who had made him the star he was today, the woman he owed so much to; he couldn't deny her this. This was her dream and while her dream as an actress had failed, Jesse would be damned if he would let this dream leave Shelby as well if he could do something about it. Eventually, Rachel caved, but kept their relationship to a strict friendship only base, with no chance of making out spontaneously (something Jesse had no problem agreeing with.).

He had to bide his time, letting his friendship grow, letting her guard down, because if he came barging in, 'accidentally' finding a tape entitled "_From Mother to Daughter"_, Rachel would, no doubt, figure out something was up. Ao, he played it coy, just hanging out with her, listening to her ranting and her complaints that nobody seemed to understand the versatility of her voice or the true burden that a future star had to cope with. Jesse could deal with that, he could deal with nodding and smiling like he cared. He could deal with her self indulging, her constant need to speak her mind. Heck, he could even deal with seeing her in those god awful pin striped suit pants. But, what Jesse couldn't stand was the hollow, lonely look Kurt gave him when their eyes met, how he would tighten his lips and look away quickly, with the sight of tears at the edge of his eyes haunting Jesse whenever he tried to fall asleep at night.

He'd broken Kurt and he knew it. He had wanted them to be outstanding, he had been planning the possible shows they could conquer as a power couple, the songs they could tear up together and the many ways he could serenade the boy and make him feel beautiful and complete every single night. But, that hadn't happened. Instead, he had to sit with Rachel at lunch. He had to brush off Kurt in case the boy distracted him once again. He had to pretend that the soprano meant nothing to him, like he was just one of the many people he'd strung along until he'd gotten bored. Kurt had trusted him with his heart and Jesse had shattered it and it was making him feel sick to his stomach every moment he was reminded of it.

Eventually, he'd set up finding the tape, managing to get Rachel to talk about the one topic she didn't want to rattle on about all day: her mother. After that, planting the tape wasn't particularly difficult. In fact, Rachel took the bait within seconds, grabbing the tape, looking fragile, confused and rather scared for the first time Jesse had known her, and he suddenly felt his heart softening, perhaps just a little, for her. No matter what he thought of Rachel, this was a big moment for her and possibly a terrifying one. So he simply took her in his arms, held her close and told her to only listen to it when she was ready.

That was almost two weeks ago.

Rachel and Shelby were...coping, as best they could, they were not perfect, but they were trying to work something out, Jesse had done what he'd been sent to do, he'd repaid hid debt to Shelby, he'd helped his mentor and his friend to at least try and live on of her dreams, he'd done his part and now the rest was up to her.

But having done all of that, it meant his time at New Directions had to come to a close, knowing very well he couldn't stay. He had always been part of Vocal Adrenaline, it was what he knew, it was _who_ he was. But, perhaps most importantly, the only thing that would, perhaps, keep Jesse rooted with the small club was broken because of how badly he'd screwed up. How could he go back to someone he'd crushed and left to deal with it all alone? He couldn't even show his face near Kurt without feeling sick to his stomach; he could barely look at all the other glee clubbers' faces without seeing their anger, their distrust and hate for what he'd done to the boy who had opened up to him, only to be shot down and left alone, broken and betrayed.

Jesse knew he had to go back home, back to Vocal Adrenaline. He'd already done enough damage here, and besides, what if he did stay? What would Vocal Adrenaline do then? Most likely, they would go for the people he cared about most, they'd go for Kurt, try to make him suffer for dragging their lead vocalist away from them. How could he risk that, that his shallow members wouldn't try and hurt Kurt, just to get back at Jesse? He'd done enough to Kurt; he couldn't risk his well being. But, it seemed his old teammates weren't going to let him off the hook that easily.

"_We'll get the little fairy good, I'm thinking right in the eye."_

"_We'll expect you to participate Jesse; you're going to have to prove you're back on our side."_

They wanted to make sure Jesse was loyal, that he still wasn't pining after the 'little fairy'- and the mere fact that he wanted to break the jaw of the smartass who had called Kurt that, proved to Jesse that he wasn't over Kurt, not by a long shot.

He wasn't sure what he was thinking when he called Kurt on his mobile, telling him to meet him in the parking lot, telling him he needed to see him so badly in a lifeless, monotone voice because he couldn't bring himself to try and put any more effort into this than he had to. He wasn't sure what he was thinking when he stared and watched as his beautiful boy came running towards him, amused smile on his lips; only for it to be replaced with wide eyes, tight lips and leaking eyes as the eggs pounding against his small frame, ruining his outfit almost instantly- an outfit which Jesse had convinced Kurt to buy not too long ago.

* * *

"Do it Jesse"

Jesse fought the ache in his stomach as he looked to the girl to his left, who was giving him an impatient and bored expression, clearly growing tired of waiting for Jesse to get on with sealing the deal.

"Are with us or not?"

Jesse looked back at Kurt, who still stood there; looking hollow, broken all over again, the egg and hot tears mixing together as they dribbled down his face. His usually quirky and challenging eyes were now dull, nearly lifeless as his gaze met the other boy's. Lifting his chin up slightly, Jesse walked slowly over towards Kurt, feeling himself breaking inside with every step as he stopped in front of Kurt, looked into his eyes and prayed that someday, he would be able to forgive himself for what he was about to do.

All that could be heard in the car park was the faint sound of one lack egg cracking as the cold, raw liquid rolled down Kurt's left cheek and onto the concrete below the soprano's trembling legs.

* * *

Jesse just sat there, in his large room, filled with his countless trophies and awards, filled with pictures of Vocal Adrenaline and their countless wins, feeling more alone in the world than he had ever felt before. The lights were off, the curtains closed and the only source of light was coming from the crack under the doorway, the faint light hitting the back of Jesse's neck as he held his head in his hands, silent and never wanting to leave the dark room.

That's when the phone rang.

Jesse looked up suddenly, staring at the electronic device for some time, just listening to the familiar sound, before he quickly got to his feet and shuffled over to it, picking it up slowly, knowing full well who it was.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, thought you would want to hear a friendly voice right about."_

At that moment, Jesse felt some warmth rush to his body and he closed his eyes, trying to keep his voice level as his grip on the phone tightened, just letting the sound of the other's voice ring through his ears.

"Kurt..."

"Glad you remember my name St. James, you'll need it when you write that card to me, attached to a freshly picked pile of lilies of course."

Jesse couldn't help but laugh, a real, warm laugh, the kind he hid whenever he was around Vocal Adrenaline or even Rachel, the kind that only Kurt and his family got to hear. However, the smile that had settled on his lips soon vanished and he felt his stomach twisting, the reality of today finally sinking in.

"Kurt, what happened today, at the car park, god I just-"

"_Jesse, don't start on this again."_

"How can I not Kurt? You should have seen your face-"

"_Jesse St. James, stop with your words right this very minute or I'm hanging up!"_

That god Jesse quiet, fearing that perhaps Kurt really would hang up and leave him alone to deal with the guilt drilling into his stomach. God, Jesse had never felt so weak in his life, but for the very first time in his life, he was relying on another to show him the way, he was relying on Kurt to comfort him.

"_This was my idea, remember Jesse? When you came to me and told me everything before you left, you said you didn't trust your club would do to me if you stayed, so, we did what we had to. They think we're over, you get to finish your senior year and I get to keep my boyfriend and__ his fabulous, secret make out sessions with him, I say today was a good day, don't you?"_

"You should have seen your face Kurt, you looked like the world had ended, like I'd ended your world."

"_Well I want to be on Broadway don't I? It's nice I could fool even the great Jesse St. James, I think you need to treat me to a new outfit for that."_

"That wasn't all acting Kurt and you know it. We both know it."

Jesse slowly counted the three, horrible seconds Kurt took to respond, each second making him feel more guilty for saying something so blunt at a time like this.

"_Perhaps not, but you shouldn't feel responsible for that, I've got a lot of emotional baggage, it wasn't exactly hard to find inspiration to pull off that performance, so don't fret thinking it was all you that got me all hot faced and teary eyed. You're good, but you're not that good St. James"_

Jesse couldn't help but smile weakly at the teasing, warm tone at the end of Kurt's voice as he let out that last statement. Jesse still didn't like what had happened today and it would be a long time before he could come to terms with what he had done, but for now, he had to look forward, he had to think about what was next to come for both boys and what they would do next.

Because Jesse had nearly lost Kurt once already and that was one time too many.


End file.
